Yes, he can: Important to let kids succeed on own terms

Michael with his black belt certificate.

There's a sign that hangs up at the school where Michael takes taekwondo that says "Yes, I can." Last week while watching him teach the Tiny Tigers class (kids under 6), it struck me how that sign fits Michael perfectly. Yes, he can do it, but on his own timing.
Earlier this week, Michael turned 14 and I thought back to when he was born and how many of my fellow co-workers at the newspaper asked what sports he would play -- knowing that Joe and I both like sports a lot and are fairly active -- and if he would be a Badger (I'm a UW alum). But from the get go, Michael showed little interest in sports and never had the best coordination (his sister got all the athletic talent in the family and then some). At first, I was a bit frustrated as we enrolled him in starter soccer, t-ball and basketball and watched as he was more interested in the post-game snack than what was going on during the game. (This was before Michael was diagnosed with autism.) Looking back, I am mad at myself for placing my hopes and expectations on him -- everyone doesn't have to like or play sports. And by the time, he got to second grade -- just about the time we received his official diagnosis -- Michael quit all sport activities.
But in his own time, Michael found his sport -- taekwondo. I originally had the idea to give it a try after my nephew did it and my sister raved about how it helped him focus. Michael's in-home therapist took another job and I was looking for something he could do while we looked for another one. I came across a post on the local autism group's Facebook page about a local taekwondo school that was very welcoming to kids on the spectrum. Michael attended the free class and said he wanted to continue.
Since I knew his interest in topics didn't often last long, I went with the month-to-month membership vs. the black belt plan where you pay a single fee covering your path to becoming a black belt -- usually about two years. But as time went on, Michael's interest remained and he kept plodding along. He rose through the ranks and earlier this year, Michael received his black belt right on schedule. It was a huge achievement for him. For his test he performed the forms for all of the different color belts. I don't even know how many different moves there were, but he remembered them all (quite the achievement for someone who can't always remember to brush his teeth or his teacher's name). He also had to spar opponents and break two boards. He worked really hard and I was so proud of him -- to me, it was better than seeing him star on any field or court.
After earning his black belt, Michael was invited into the leadership program where he's learning how to teach the younger kids and eventually may lead the larger classes. He's about four months in to earning his second degree and still remains interested. Michael has definitely taken that "Yes, I can" sign to heart.